The Coolest Thing

Hello.  It’s been a while, hasn’t it?  Well that’s because my brain turned to mush and I couldn’t get the brain words in to mouth/keyboard words.  Anyway…

The other day I was wondering if I was cool or not…as one does…and I came to the conclusion that if you have to wonder if you’re cool – you’re definitely NOT cool.  Which led me try and do some things that would make me cool and they all made me even more uncool.

  1. I cut off a lot of my hair and was going for a “omg did she just ride up here on a wild stallion post saloon fight in the Wild West??”look.  What I got was “wow, that girl JUST got on ‘The Rachel’ hair trend of 1994.
  2.  I tried to hold a cigar in my mouth and talk at the same time (can you see we’re    going with a cowgirl=cool theme, here?) and it turns out I can’t do that or I gag. Now let me explain – I enjoy smoking cigars, but because I have an insane gag reflex, I can’t hold it in the side of my mouth and talk.  Unless the conversation is to make retching sounds.  Scott has this turkey call thing that’s about the size of a guitar pick that you stick in the roof of your mouth and I basically barfed it up when I tried it.  He is nice enough to keep talking to me.

Clearly, I can’t be cool.  Then it dawned on me….while I was washing my stupid Rachel hair…that the coolest thing about me is how my dog and cat are best friends.  People are always suggesting I start an Instagram page just for them and now I realize….what they’re really saying is “we hate all of your other stupid pictures, please please PLEASE only post pictures of those two”.

Well, friends, I’ve heard you.

I’ve heard you, but for the most part, I will ignore you.

But really, let’s talk about this dog cat duo of best friendship.

First, there’s Roosevelt.  Roosevelt is a 2.5 year old Australian Shepherd with a wonky eye.  He is my actual best friend and does all the exact same stuff that I do except that I have to go to work and he gets to nap all day.  He is insanely good with all of the animals on the farm and will even let turkeys stick their head in his mouth.  One time, he just sat nose to nose with an escaped baby bunny and waited until I got there to put it back with his mom.  He is just the best.  Company stresses him out, he hates when his routine is broken, and he overreacts to most things.  Three things I could also say about myself.  So one random day when Scott and I decided to get a cat, I figured it would be fine.

Insert: Trumann.  Trumann is a year old black cat.  Do cats have breeds?  Trumann is a cool cat though.  Not like all the other dumb cats out there.  Trumann goes outside and poops in mole holes and has a groundhog gang that he joins all day.  I guess.  I have no idea what that guy is up to, he just comes in when I get home and is really dirty and covered in spiders.  He also really enjoys head butting you at 3 am and every half hour after that until morning.  I’ve never had a cat before but I would say Trumann’s only flaw is that cats need litter boxes and now we have a litter box.  I should also point out that Trumann is the smallest animal on the farm and I neurotically worry about him a lot.  Even though he’s the only animal here that kills stuff.

I got Trumann as a teeny tiny kitten and the minute I walked in the door, I told Roosevelt he had a brother, dumped Trumann out of the box and they became best friends instantly.  So if you were hoping for advice on how to make your cat and dog best friends, I have no idea.  I just assume it will work perfectly every single time. 

Oh! And in case you don’t know and are wondering about their names.  Roosevelt is named Roosevelt because Scott had just watched a documentary and read a biography on Theodore Roosevelt and really wanted to name whatever dog we got, Roosevelt.  Then, we thought it would be cool to keep a presidential theme but I also have a theme of naming pets after places my extended family lives.  So there’s a Truman president and a Trumann, Arkansas where my mom’s family is from.  Win win.

There you have it.  The story of my two best mates.

Now.  Pictures.  Be prepared for your heart to explode.


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